Early this morning, as I sit in my chair and slowly sip on my coffee, I glance over at my daughter sitting on the couch. She has her beautiful curls hanging down one side of her face, and a mere glare of the sun's reflection on the other side. I form a smirk as I admire her from a distance, in complete awe of her young beauty. I realize her brother would be 4 years old today, just twice her age. I try to imagine what life would've been like, and if they'd both be watching morning cartoons on that couch together.
The impact that a baby loss has after a period of time is quite different from its initial impact. It shows up in small unnoticeable moments. These are the moments where I hug my daughter a little tighter, keep her close a little longer, and love her a little stronger.
As moms, we are entitled to feel tired and defeated. While feeling that way is comprehensible, it is also important to recognize and focus on what is good. For one day they'll be all grown up, and you can at least look back and say, 'I was there, and I took it all in, while it lasted'. That is something that not all of us get the chance to do!
Today marks what would’ve been Milo's 4th birthday. It's hard to imagine 4 years have passed since his due date. Life is too short, and for some, even shorter. So, let's not let another day be taken for granted, for what we have today could be taken away tomorrow. In Milo's memory, let's remember to focus on what is good, by hugging our loved ones a little harder, keep them close a little longer, and love them a little stronger.
Happy 4th Heavenly Birthday My Sweet Milo! We Miss You and Love You.
-Mama xox
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